1) If you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail.
2) We plan, god laughs.
So what do we do??
We plan, and when it doesn’t work out, we learn to cope with disappointment! This seems simple enough, however there are times when things which are outside of our control really do mess with our plans and leave us feeling quite frankly, absolutely shit!!
At the moment I’m on holiday with my other half (B), and unfortunately he’s had to work whilst we are away.
Yesterday morning he got an email, asking him to finalise a deal with some clients. NOT IDEAL AT ALL! Shenanigans began as he wasn’t able to access his work files (thanks to hotel internet connection) and before we knew it he’d spent all day in the room, emailing the clients and dealing with I.T.
So what’s my point in all of this? Well, for us our plans have been changed, B isn’t able to chill by the pool and have a break from work, work has come with us on holiday. And for me, well I’m getting used to this. He’s sometimes at the beck and call of someone else, and on holiday that feels super annoying. I understand the need to work, I have my own private clients and understand sometimes it’s a must. But, that doesn’t mean it’s not disappointing that our days planned by the pool have been interrupted, and he isn’t sure when he’ll be done.
So how do we get over the disappointment. I’ve learnt this year form my own experience and work that sometimes feeling sorry for ourselves feels good. We expect someone to come and fix everything for us. We could sulk, be disappointed and feel sorry for ourselves. We could get upset and let disappointment come between us, and ruin the moments of peace/fun we have. We could complain and go on and on about it to friends. Or we can take stock, think for a moment or two, acknowledge that our plans have been interrupted, that things aren’t quite as we wanted. Accept that maybe we shouldn’t have put all our eggs in one basket and relied on the holiday to unwind. We can take a big deep breath, sit with our upset and disappointment that feels so horrible you feel it in your stomach, and then…smile. Smile inside and out, because this happens. We know we can deal with his. Nope, it’s not the end of the world. Things will keep going. We can chose to enjoy the good moments between the stress/work. Because we are actors in our lives, not the audience, and we are lucky enough to chose how to proceed.
Something as simple as a big breath, a deep sigh, and then a smile, can rebalance us!! We have so much power to change how we are feeling, we just need to know how to harness it!!
Below are my 8 steps to help banish those horrible negative feelings to help you focus on the good, and enjoy the moments now!!
1) Stop what you are doing, sit/stand still
2) Close your eyes
3) Breathe in deep, through your nose, count to 6 as you do so. As you breath in roll your head up, so you end your breath with your nose high in the air
4) Breathe out slowly through your mouth. Keeping your head back and nose high
5) Repeat, until you feel calmer
6) Smile, actually make your face smile (you’ll see it make you feel better)
7) Acknowledge the good things of the day
8) Make a plan of action, which ends with something YOU want to do!
Hope this helps!!
Don’t forget to get in touch and send any messages, and to those women/men out there who’s other half are working all the time.. go you!! If any of you have found ways to get through disappointment, thanks to their work, let me know what it is!!!